Everything has gotten turned upside down recently

Emotions

You know what I'm really fucking sick of? Besides every single god damn person in Btown, I'm really sick of people only talking to me when they have a problem, or when something bad happens to them. Yes, I will always be 100% open to anyone with a problem, but no one ever fucking asks me how I'm doing myself. Ever. I'm a god damn normal person who goes through shit too and yet no one EVER fucking asks. My life would literally be made if I knew that I had a friend who really, truly, and genuinely cared about what happened in my life, and who wanted to listen to me talk about my problems. I've done this things where I've put others' needs before my own for so long, and I never minded, and I still don't mind, but ALL I WANT IS FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME HOW I AM DOING. AM I OK? AM I ALRIGHT? HOW AM I DOING? And I want them to ask because they genuinely want to know too, not because I'm making them feel bad/asking them too. The only time someone texts me is when they need something. Literally the only person I even fucking text anymore is Hilary, and a good 80% of the time it's me texting her first, and a good 90% of the time, we're talking about her, and the rare 10% of the time that my life comes up, we talk about it only briefly. I love Hilary to death and she is my bestest of best friend, but she never asks me how I am. And the sad part is that I don't even think she really cares. And she's not even what prompted me to write this blog post. When Jacob dumped Syd, he texted me every single fucking day. And I didn't mind at all! I was there for him every second, and the second he gets back together with her, he never texts me again. Ryan is like that too. I'll listen to his problems and give him advice, and the second I talk about my life, he zones out.

And don't even get me started about friends that have boyfriends. Literally your boyfriend does not define you. I HATE that. You don't have to spend every second with him. God I have so many fucking friends with boyfriends that it aggravates me. I am there for them whenever something bad happens for them, whenever they need a shoulder to cry on, and what do they do when they get a boyfriend? THEY PUT ME ON THE BACK BURNER. Like FUCK THAT. I NEVER did that when I had a boyfriend, and yeah, maybe that was a small contributing factor towards that relationship's downfall, but I will never understand how people can forget their friends when they have boyfriends. It's completely unforgivable. There's probably nothing that makes me madder than someone who I have been there for every time they needed a friend and then completely ditch me when they get a boyfriend. Like thank you, fuck you too. It makes me feel like shit.

Also I find out from Tufts tomorrow and I know I'm gonna get rejected.

Yeah I just have a lot of resentment in my life right now. Sorry.

3.14159

Happy Pi Day bitches. If even a single person follows this blog, then you may have noticed that I deleted my last post. However, since pretty much no one follows this blog, it's safe to assume that no one noticed. So hypothetically if someone were to follow this blog, this is the part where they would ask why I deleted my last post.

I'm a new person. I've moved on with my life. I had a sudden insight and have realized that the past is the past. I don't regret many things in my past, but it's time to stop dwelling on it, and look forward and live in the moment more. Do things for me.

I had a pretty good weekend a few days ago. It felt like vacation because I only had 3 days of school last week (I didn't go to school Wednesday and didn't have it on Friday), so I had a lot of fun. Wednesday I got a prom dress and I LOVE it. I had to order it in a size bigger though, so I'm really hoping it doesn't get fucked up. Like being way too big or getting lost in the mail or coming too late. So fingers crossed! I'm gonna look good though. School on Thursday was kind of a joke, and then Thursday night I hung out with Hilary, David, and Jacob. After the boys left (we played an intense game of Sorry!), me and Hilary got really drunk, which was pretty fun considering I've never been drunk with her before. We took some...interesting pictures haha. It was snowing all night so when we woke up there were (was?) several inches of snow on the ground, so we made a fort out of branches and snow in my backyard, and pretended we were women of the Night's Watch. Yes, I'm a GOT nerd, shoot me. We then watched Tangled, yes the Disney movie, and then went to a party at Evelyn's house. I thought there were only gonna be like ten people there but it turned out to be a grade wide open house and like 35 people were there which was pretty cool. Except for the fact that I was the one driving everyone home so I couldn't drink, although people thought that I had for some reason. David was a little bitch and didn't know his limit so every time I tried to cut him off he screamed at me, but karma was a bitch when he felt extremely sick at 1:30 in the morning, so I got even with him.  Initially, Jon, Jacob, and David were supposed to sleepover Hilary's house with me, but it ended up only being me, Hilary, and Jon sleeping over, which was funny because this was only like the second time that Jon had ever met Hilary. But he was really drunk so it wasn't awkward. Then he made me drive him to his car at 7:45 AM which I greatly resent him for. The next day I banged out a huge psych paper with my group, in time to go to the Hockey tailgate in Stoneham with Ben, Jacob, and Hilary (yes I saw her a ton this weekend, which was great), although the tailgate itself kind of sucked. Then the hockey game was so much fun, and we were up the whole game until Swampscott scored twice in the last five minutes, with the winning goal being scored with six seconds of the game left, which sucked majorly. It ruined everyone's day, I think. Then I went home and did boring stuff. I had to get up at like the crack of dawn on Sunday (made worse by the fact that we lost an hour due to DST), to be an appraiser for DI. I was an IC appraiser, and got stuck with the rising stars, which I had requested to not be, so that was annoying. By 12:00 PM I had seen one little girl pick her nose and eat it, one little kid ran into a table and started crying, and another little girl started bawling because her team wasn't listening or sharing with her. Talk about joyous occasions. I was the head appraiser though, which was kind of fun. By the end of the day my throat killed from talking, and I'm pretty one of the kids made me sick. So yeah, that was my weekend.

The volleyball tourney was Tuesday night, and my team (Victorious Secret) went hard with Amurican Flag face paint. Unfortunately, we got knocked out within 40 minutes/two games, but it was still lots of fun, especially with such a random but fun group.

Senior year is looking up! Lots of things to look forward to, including the fashion show, track starting, the STARs dance, which I'm repping Btown for again, and more parties and such. I think my grade is finally getting the memo. And I'll hear back from more colleges too! Currently into UMass Amherst, URI, Eckerd, U Del, and U of Rochester.

PLOT TWIST:
The frisky flirt has only ever had one boyfriend, is still a virgin, and is alone on Valentines Day. The irony.


#rantover

Bitches

I'm so ready to be over you. All of you.

America's Greatest Sport

How the hell have I never been to a hockey game before. I finally went for the first time last night and it was so much fun! It was a rivalry game against W, who beat us in the state finals last year, so tensions were already high, which were only supplemented with all the dirty playing that was occurring (if my biased self says so) by the W team. I came from a fun night in Boston with Kitty and Eliza and when we got there, the first period was over, and the score was 1-1. Then after a bunch of fights and a lot of booing at the W goalie, who we were standing behind, and who was an asshole, they scored on us again. Then, in the third period, we scored on them to bring the score to 2-2 and it was like the greatest moment of my life kiddingbutnot. So there's like five minutes left in the game and we're all jazzed because we're gonna go into overtime and have a chance to win this bitch and then the incredible happens. W scores with .1 seconds left in the game. .1. Not even a whole second. A tenth of a second. It was honestly unbelievable. If it was my town, it would have been the greatest moment in the history of our town, but it wasn't us, and it was quite possibly the most tragic. I was legitimately sad and this was only my first game (some of you might call me a bandwagon fan but I honestly see this as the start of something instead of just a phase). To top it all off, the next morning the NHL lockout was finally ended, so I'm going to take this as a sign that my relationship, so to speak, with hockey was meant to be. #BiggestPuckSlutYou'llEverMeet <-- (That was a joke. Kind of.)

New Years

What could have been a terrible night turned into a New Years that was nearly perfect. Because NOTHING was happening in Bedford, I decided to go into Boston with Alex, Jillian, and Jessi. I was really reluctant to go at first, and annoyed that I was with them because it was my last resort, but I ended up having the most amazing time. We stayed at this outdoor dance party thing and oh my goddddd it was just so much fun! I can't even say that enough. 2013 is definitely looking like it's gonna be a good year, and it DEFINITELY started off well hashtag winkyface/yolo. Getting accepted to college, deciding where to go for college, turning 18, graduation, GOING to college.......it's gonna be a crazy fucking year and I'm SO done with 2012 and SO ready for 2013. Bring it bitch.