Attempting To Name The Unnamed

I don't know how to describe this feeling. It's like I'm searching for something, but I don't know what I supposed to be looking for, and I keep getting mad at everyone who tries to help me. It's like being calm, annoyed, sad, angry, loopy, and lonely all at the same time. And I keep getting frustrated with myself. Why am I feeling this unnamed feeling? I don't want to be around anyone, yet when I'm by myself I feel lonely. I feel really unproductive, which is a valid feeling because I've been procrastinating so much recently. But it's annoying because I want to do work, and feel productive, I just can't. I mean not much is even occurring in my life. I get like one shift a week at BF, E is being a bitch to me, I ruined my fave shirts/ sweaters when I washed them by accident and my mom started bitching at me, I'm stressing about college, because I still haven't applied to Tufts, I'm wishing I hadn't applied to BU or UDel, and E made me really nervous about acceptances when she smirked at me (and gave me one of those aw Laurel you're so pathetic you know nothing looks) when I said I was confident about getting into most of my school. Boy T has decided to text me again, although for the life of me I cannot fathom why, and with any boy I could actually be with, nothing is working out/ I don't have romantic feelings for anyone, even though I really want to like someone/ be with someone. I just can't. I feel like my teachers are starting to dislike me too; my psych and my math teacher. Although this could just be sleep-deprivation induced paranoia. Idk.